Star Trek Voyager: Their Pokemon Adventure
by CaptainKJ
Summary: Yeah, I decided that the adventure will never end...The cast comes back for more...and why is Mulgrew there? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm? Where's Picard now?
1. Starfleet and their stupid shuttle

Star Trek Voyager: Their Pokémon Adventure

A/N: I know Pokémon is very old, but I haven't seen a Pokémon/Voyager crossover, so I'm making one up. Lance and Lorelei, part of the Elite Four, have left the Four to pursue their own interests. Voyager, however, is taking a much needed break to explore the Delta Quadrant's phenomenon (basically nebulae that Captain Janeway likes 0_o)& playing in the holodeck. (You have to find out what the game is!)

Enjoy!

~CaptainKJ

Chapter One:

Starfleet&Their Stupid Shuttles

*In the Pokémon World*

Lance *throwing a Pokéball*: Go, Blastoise! Hydro Pump!

Lorelei: Cloyster, Blizzard!

Lance: Lorelei, your heart is sooo cold...Blastoise, return! *throws another Pokéball* Go, Charizard! Fire Spin!

Lorelei: Cloyster, withdraw!

Lance: Seismic Toss, Charizard! Ha, how do you like it now, Lore?

Lorelei: Lance, that's not my name!

Lance *pouting*: But I like that! It's cute!!!

Lorelei: Ice Beam!

*Flash of light envelops Lance, Lorelei and their Pokémon*

*On Voyager our heroes are in the Holodeck, playing&watching...uh...*

Janeway: Go, Pikachu! Thunderwave!

*You guessed it-Pokémon!*

Chakotay: Sandslash, Dig!

Janeway: What an embarrassing tactic! Pikachu, quick attack!

Chakotay: I guess the first officer is better then his captain!

*Sandslash hits Pikachu from underneath*

Janeway: Oh no! Pikachu, agility!

Chakotay: Sandslash, scrat-

*The ship shakes*

Janeway: What the hell- *taps commbadge* Kim, status!

Kim *from the comm speakers* A Starfleet shuttle hit us. Designation NCC-74756.

Janeway: Hail them, Ensign. It must've been one of the ones you crashed, Chakotay.

Chakotay: Yeah, maybe.

Kim: No response.

*Meanwhile, before they hit Voyager, on the shuttle our Pokémon heroes are on*

Lance: Cool, Starfleet shuttle!

Lorelei *Holding her Pokéballs* Return, everybody! What? Starfleet?

Lance: Remember the stuff I watched on the island? _Star Trek? _This is one of their shuttles. I can't really pilot one of these...*pushes multiple buttons*

Lorelei *putting her stuff back on her belt*: Lance, you dumbass, don't push those buttons!

*Shuttle jumps to warp*

Lance: Oops.

Lorelei *seething*: Stupid, now how do we get out of here?

Lance: Maybe this red button oughtta do it. *pushes it to Lorelei's dismay*

*Shuttle lurches, hits Voyager*

Lorelei: You idiot, you hit something!

Lance: I think it was another ship.

Kim *On comm*: This is the Starship Voyager. Please respond.

Lorelei: Respond, doofus!

Lance: Which one is it?

*On Voyager*

Janeway: Tractor it!

Chakotay: Belay that!

Janeway: That's an order!

Chakotay: Belay that!

Janeway *Looking at Commander Chakotay*: Who's the Captain?

Chakotay: You.

Janeway: And who gives out the orders?

Chakotay: You.

Janeway *smirking*: And who's the most powerful person here?

Chakotay: You.

Janeway: Then why are you **_belaying my orders_**?

Chakotay: Because it's fun! *grins*

*Janeway slaps Chakotay*

Janeway *muttering*: Stupid Marquis. *in a normal voice* Transport any people in there to the brig.

*Meanwhile*

Lance: What the heck?

Lorelei: It's not my fault!

*Disappear in a beam*

*On Voyager, in the Brig*

Janeway: Who the heck are you?

Lance *with sparkles in his eyes*: Wow, is that really you, Captain Janeway? I'm your biggest fan! And you're really sexy-

*Lorelei punches Lance*

Lorelei: I'm Lorelei and this is Lance, of the Elite Four. Or formerly.

Janeway: No way! Lorelei and Lance in the flesh! I'm your biggest fan!

Lorelei *perplexed* You have Pokémon here?

Janeway: It's a game here. We have a Pokémon arena here. So that means...*excited* you have real Pokémon here?!

Lorelei: Yeah.

Janeway: Cool! Let them out.

*Forcefield comes down*

Lorelei: Lance, come on, were out. And don't drool in front of the Captain.

Lance: I-I-I can-can-can-can't he-he-help it if sh-sh-she's th-th-tha-that se-se-sexy... *kisses the Captain*

Lorelei: Goddammit... *grabs Lance's ear* Come on, Lance, she probably has a boyfriend already, and she needs air.

Lance: Wow.

Janeway: Uh...wow, Lance, but I already have a boyfriend. *smiles*

Lance *heartbroken*: Oh no! *huddles up, back to the captain, crying.*

Lorelei: Lance...Lance...

Lance: I wanna go home!

A/N: Well, how did you like this? Will Lance survive his time on Voyager? Will he get revenge on the Captain for breaking his heart? How will Lorelei cope with being stuck with Lance on an unknown ship with unknown people?

Stay Tuned...

Lorelei: Lance, look on the bright side. You have me.

Lance: But I loved the Captain! *pouts*

Janeway *in Lorelei's bag*: Pokéballs! A Pokédex! Items! *Lets Pokémon out* A Pikachu!

Pikachu: CHU! *shocks Janeway*

And how will Janeway deal with Pokémon fever? ^^;

CaptainKJ: Captain Janeway?

Janeway *looking up from Pikachu, stroking him*: Yeah, what?

CaptainKJ: Um...you're supposed to be electrocuted.

Janeway: Oh. *falls over*

CaptainKJ: A little to the right.

Janeway: Oh. *moves*

Lorelei *noticing Janeway*: Oh Pikachu, what did you do?

Pikachu: Chu Chu Pika. Pika Pika Chu Chu.

Lorelei *picking Pikachu up*: You naughty Pikachu, she's my friend.

CaptainKJ: Isn't this supposed to end already??

Lorelei: Alright, already!

******************************************************************************************************************************


	2. Pokemon Food and Drooling

Star Trek Voyager: Their Pokémon Adventure

Chapter 2

Pokémon Food and Drooling Over Women

*in Sickbay*

Doctor: Lorelei, Lance, you're both fine. However, Lorelei, your...um...

Lorelei: Pokémon, Doctor.

Doctor: ...Pokémon have injured Captain Janeway...

Lorelei: It was her fault. She let Pikachu out!

Doctor: But it wasn't serious.

Lance: Wow. Pikachu should've sent her into Dreamland. What is she made of, anyway?

Doctor: Coffee.

Lance: Huh?

Doctor: Never mind. Just don't tell her I said that.

*Later, in the mess hall*

Lorelei *sitting down at the back with Janeway, Chakotay, Paris, Kim and Lance* :Wow. This is a busy place. I hope this tastes good.

Lance: Of course it is.

Lorelei *letting Pikachu out*: Here, Pikachu. *hands him a canister of Pokémon food*

Pikachu *in a happy tone*: Pi Pika!

Tom: Ooh, let me try!

Janeway: Tom, that's-

Lorelei *covering Janeway's mouth*: *in a sweet tone of voice* Go ahead Tom.

*Tom chews the morsel*

Harry: Ooh, let me try! *Takes one*

Chakotay: Yeah, me too! *Takes one*

Pikachu: Pika Piiii!

Lorelei *letting go of Janeway* :How do you like it?

Tom: I feel weird. *face slackens* *in a drunken tone* Captain, did you just grow twenty years younger or what? *Moves closer to her*

Janeway *Moving away from Tom's advances*: Oh what is the answer. What the heck happened? *Glares at Tom* Get off me, Ensign! Chakotay!

Harry *getting in front of Lorelei*: Hey, Lorelei, would you like to go out with me?

Lorelei: Um...

Chakotay *getting in front of Lorelei, pushing Harry away*: No, me, pick me!

Lorelei: I'm currently not available today...

Harry *grabbing Lorelei's arm*: She's mine!

Chakotay *grabbing Lorelei's other arm*: Mine, I tell you, mine!

*Harry and Chakotay pull Lorelei to each other*

Lorelei: Pikachu! Thundershock!

*Harry and Chakotay are electrocuted*

Janeway: Huh? Lorelei, aren't-

Lorelei: Shock-resistant clothes.

Lance: Wow. Pokémon food is like getting drunk on booze. *grins*

Janeway: Can I try one? Maybe it doesn't affect women as well as men.

Lance: Go ahead, sweetie.

*Janeway gives Lance the Janeway Death Glare™, full blast*

Lance *cringing*: Uh, never mind.

Janeway *taking a piece*: Maybe we should program it in the replicator for the Pokémon. *eats the food* Wow. It tastes like coffee!

Lance *muttering*: Come on, come on... *wider grin*

Janeway: Hmm. Didn't affect me. *walks off, dragging the men*

Lance: Oh man!

Lorelei: Pikachu, come on... *picks him up*

Pikachu: Chu!

Lance *looking at the half full canister*: Hmmm...

*Later, in the captain's quarters, on the couch*

Janeway: Lorelei, how do I beat the Elite Four?

Lorelei: Kathryn, if you're trying to solicit some tips from me, I advise you to engage in a battle with me.

Janeway: 0800 in Holodeck 1?

Lorelei: Sure-

*doors swish open, revealing Lance naked*

Lorelei *turning*: LANCE! YOU BASTARD!

Lance: So, Kathy, why don't you have sex-

*Janeway slaps Lance*

Janeway: Lance, as I told you-

Lance *tackling Janeway*: We're going to have some fun tonight-

Lorelei *seething*: Pikachu! Head butt!

Lance: Ow! Lorelei! Hey, why am I naked? Where am I?

Janeway *still slapping Lance*: Bastard. *keeps at it*

Lance: Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

Lorelei: I'm leaving. *steps on Lance*

Lance: OWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Lorelei *without looking back*: Ooh. Sorry Lance.

Lance: Why the hell is your heart so cold?!

Lorelei: Good question.

******************************************************

o.0 What's going to happen next? Will Lance finally get Janeway's point? Will Tom, Harry, and Chakotay recover from their experience? Will Harry and Chakotay try to win Lorelei's cold heart? Will Lorelei dash their hopes and dreams?

*In the Q continuum*

Q: I guess I should step in.

CaptainKJ: Not if I can help it, Q!

q: Aunt Kathy!

CaptainKJ: q! Hello, how have you been doing?

Q: Excuse me?

CaptainKJ: Yes, Q?

Q: When can I step in?

CaptainKJ: Later, Q. Much later.


	3. Ice Queen vs Ice Queen

Star Trek Voyager: Their Pokémon Adventure

Chapter Three

Ice Queen vs. Ice Queen

*in the holodeck*

Seven *staring at her PADD*: This Pokémon fad is irrelevant, although I find myself enjoying this.

Lorelei *putting Pokébelts around her Pokémon*: Of course, Seven. Maybe you should get some.

Seven: Later.

Janeway *polishing her hologram Pokéballs (which I can't find the reason why she would do that)*: This is exciting. Pity the trio can't come.

Lorelei: Well...ready? *puts Pokémon in their balls*

Janeway: Sure thing!

*Lorelei and Janeway go to their places*

Tuvok: This is a six Pokémon match. No time limit. Ready...Begin.

Lorelei: Go, Dewgong! *throws the Pokéball*

Janeway: Bad choice. Pikachu, go! Thundershock!

Lorelei: Ooh. Bad choice. Aurora beam!

*Pikachu faints*

Lance: Go Lorelei!

Ensign Nobody: SHUT UP!

Janeway: Pikachu return! Go, Venasaur! Solar Beam!

Lorelei: Aurora beam, again!

*The beams meet in mid-air, causing an explosion of indefinite proportions*

Lorelei: Ahh! Dewgong! *covers her eyes*

Janeway: Venasaur!

*They both look at the middle of the arena, where there is a crater*

Lorelei&Janeway: OH SHIT!

*Cloud clears*

Lorelei: Dewgong, are you okay?

*Dewgong gets up*

Janeway: Venasaur?

Tuvok: Venasaur is unable to attack, winner is Dewgong!

*Crowd boos, except for Lance*

Lance: Go Lorelei!

Lorelei: You've done great, Dewgong! Return! *Holds Pokéball out*

Janeway: Go, Abra!

Lorelei: Go, Blastoise! Fill the crater with water!

Janeway: What?

Lorelei: Return Blastoise! Go, Jynx! Ice beam!

Janeway: Teleport into the water!

Lorelei: I wasn't going to attack your Abra, but it was expected anyway.

*water freezes*

Janeway: Ha! It teleported away when you weren't paying attention! Confusion!

Lorelei: Pound!

*Abra teleports away*

Janeway: Tsk, tsk. *wags finger* I thought the Elite Four was harder than this.

Lorelei: Stupid...Metronome!

Janeway: Come on...

Lorelei: Come on...

*Both cross fingers*

*Smog appears*

Lorelei: *Coughs* Lucky me.

Janeway: Shit. It knocked out Abra.

Lorelei: Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Lance: Go Lorelei!

Everybody in the audience: SHUT UP!

Janeway: Go, Typhlosion! Flame wheel!

Lorelei: Jynx! Pound!

*doors swish open*

Chakotay: Wow, they're battling!

Tom: Look at Lorelei! She's determined.

Harry: It's the Ice Queen vs. the Ice Queen!

Lorelei: Shut up. Oh no! Jynx, return! Go, Blastoise! Hydro Pump!

Janeway: Don't try that on me! Dodge it, and give it a Flamethrower!

Lorelei: Withdraw!

Janeway: Iron Tail!

*Silence*

Janeway: Huh? I said Iron Tail!

Lorelei: Your Pokémon is KO'ed! But how?

Janeway: The water melted, and it stepped into it! Return!

Lorelei: Hah, three down. Three to go!

*6 hours later and 50 coffee breaks*

Lorelei: Ugh!

Janeway: Yeah...

*flash of light envelops them*

*Meanwhile...at the arena*

Lance: Who wants to stop at the next planet and get some booze?

Everybody: Yeay!

*In the Pokémon world*

Ash: We're lost again!

Misty: Oh...no...

Brock: Man oh man, I miss Joy and Jenny!

*Flash of light*

Janeway: What the hell?

Lorelei: Yeay, I'm back!

Brock: Ohhh!

*********************************

o.0 What is Brock mooning over now? And who has sent Janeway and Lorelei to the Pokémon world?

What's Lance and Co doing now? What is the next planet? And where's Q when you need him?

Q: Right here, you stupid author!

CaptainKJ: I'm not stupid. For your info, I make straight A's.

Q: Stupid.

Captain: You're stupid!

Q: Humph. *snaps*

J.T: Huh? CaptainKJ? And who the heck are you? Where am I?

Q: I'm Q.

J.T: Queer. Now why am I here?

Q: To show Miss Stubborn that she is stupid.

J.T: She makes good grades. She's not stupid at all.

Q: Humph.

J.T: But you, you look stupid. And you probably are.

Q: How dare you!

J.T *smiling*: Well, stupider than CaptainKJ there. See ya, Captain!

Captain: See ya, J.T!

(J.T's one of my best friends.)


	4. Lance and Co Make a Big Slash

Star Trek Voyager: Their Pokémon Adventure

Chapter 4

Lance and Co. Make a Big Slash or Netted In!

*in the Pokémon world*

Brock *rushing over to Janeway*: Wow...you're beautiful...I'm in love...

Lorelei *putting a hand up to block Brock*: Oh no you don't! I know you, Brock of Pewter City. You're the one trying to get a girl.

Janeway: Uh, Lorelei...

Lorelei *looking at Janeway*: Kathryn, don't butt in.

*Meanwhile...*

Chakotay *hiccupping and slurring*: Wow, Lance, *hic*, This was a *hic* good idea!

Lance: *hic* Another one, Chuckles?

Harry: Wait till *hic* the Captain sees us *hic*! She'll be *hic* joining us *hic*!

Tom: Oooh...this hits the spot. *hic*

*On the other side of the mess hall*

Seven: They will experience major hangovers.

B'Elanna: But not Tom. I've seen him chug 7 beers and still be walking straight. Any news of the Captain?

Seven: No. It seems that she has been taken between universes.

Q: Who said universes?

B'Elanna: Q, you pe'tak! Go away!

Seven *ignoring B'Elanna*: I did.

Q: Seven! How nice to see you.

Seven: It's a pleasure to meet you. Now, I must attend to my duties-getting these men to sickbay.

*Meanwhile*

Janeway: I'm Captain Kathryn Janeway from the Starship Voyager...

Misty: Come on Brock, she's probably not intrested in you.

Ash: You said Captain Janeway. You're Captain Janeway from Star Trek, right? No way! I'm your biggest fan!

Janeway: So everybody says. *sighs*

Pikachu: Pika Pika Pi!

Janeway *looking down*: Hello Pikachu! How nice to see you! *picks him up* What a nice coat you have!

Ash: Thank you. So Lorelei, aren't you going to battle me?

Lorelei: I'm not in the Elite Four anymore.

Ash: Oh. Aren't you going to battle me anyway?

Lorelei: No, I need to get my Pokémon back to the center anyway.

Ash: Pikachu, come here.

Pikachu *shaking his head*: Pikachu Chu Pika.

Ash: What? Hey, you're my Pokémon!

Janeway: Here. *hands Ash his Pokémon*

*Pikachu struggles against Ash as a net drops over them*

Jesse: Prepare for trouble!

James: And make that double-hey, is that Captain Kathryn Janeway from Voyager? Wow! Can I have your autograph?

Jesse *slapping Jame's head*: You idiot, we're here for the Pokémon! Wait, is that Lorelei from the Elite Four? *jumps down* Hand over any Pokéballs you have, all of you.

Lorelei: Team Rocket!

Ash: That was what I was going to say.

Lorelei: Sorry, kiddo, but you're going to leave this in my hands.

Janeway: No you're not. *takes phaser out and opens it*

Ash *whispering*: That's crazy, Captain.

Lorelei: What are you doing?

Janeway *throwing the phaser at the balloon*: Here-there's a parting gift.

*Balloon blows up*

Jesse: What the hell did you do to my balloon?

Janeway *smirking*: Federation secret.

Jesse: I'm getting out of here! *Runs away*

Lorelei: Now how do we get out of this net?

Janeway: Um....the phaser...

*pieces of the phaser fall to the ground*

Ash: Hey, we could use our Pokémon!

Everybody else: That's stupid!

Brock: There's no room for a Pokémon!

*collective sigh*

*Meanwhile, the Voyager is in the Alpha Quadrant...*

Lance *to Quark*: I found some things we can trade! *Holds out extra Pokéballs-courtesy of Lorelei*

Quark: Hmmm...and you say this is from another universe? I'll give you 4 bottles.

Chakotay: 10 bottles.

Quark: No more than eight.

Lance: Deal, give us the best stuff in the Alpha Quadrant. Big bottles...

*On the Voyager, docked with the Enterprise-E*

Seven: Stupid men.

B'Elanna: Hear, hear!

Crusher: They won't come running to me when their heads are bursting to hell.

Q: Hello, ladies...

Everybody: Q!

Q: Of course it's Q! *pointing with B'Elanna and Seven* You weren't supposed to be back to the Alpha Quadrant yet! *pointing to Troi and Crusher* You're supposed to be in space, not at DS9!

Seven: We found a wormhole that goes to the Alpha Quadrant.

Q: I see... *disappears*

*Meanwhile...an hour passes*

Janeway: Ugh...

Lorelei: I wanna go home!

Ash: I'm late for the competition!

Misty: Bugs!

Brock: Come here, Kathryn, and I'll rub your back...

Janeway: I have a boyfriend.

Q *in a hat and short clothes*: Are you guys in trouble?

Janeway: Yeah, can't you see?

Q: Well, I'll get you out, if you battle me.

Ash: You're on! I'm Ash of Pallet Town!

Q: I'm Quinn of Mahogany Town. *takes out Charizard* Cut...

*net falls apart*

Janeway: Thanks, Quinn...hey, you look like someone I know...

Q *sweating*: It's probably a coincidence...Ash, are you ready?

Ash: Of course!

*an hour later*

Ash: Let's call this a draw.

Q: Let's. Where are you going?

Ash: The Johto League, that's what.

Janeway: We're walking? Oh no...

Misty: You could get a bike...

Q: I have one. Here, you can use this. *gets out bike*

Janeway: Thanks Quinn!

*Meanwhile, on Voyager...*

Seven: This place smells! *clamping nose*

B'Elanna: Those pe'taks better stop or face the wrath of Torres...

Troi: I hate this...

Crusher: I'm out of hyposprays, how do I explain it to Medical...

EMH: Oh, you could always replicate one.

***************************************************

What's happened to the Voyager now? Will Lance and Co stop drinking? Why is Q in the Pokémon world? How will Janeway get back?

*behind the scenes*

Janeway: Chakotay...*waves hand in front of his face*

Tom: He's in that state...with the spirit guide.

Harry: Yeah. Captain....

Q: Hello...*snaps*

Fleet Captain Kate Janeway (from Voyager: The Next Generation): Okay...where am I?

Janeway: Huh? Who's this? You're not Fleet Captain!

Kate: Yes, I am!

Janeway: NO you aren't.

Kate: Yes, I am!

*after an hour*

Kate: Yes...I...am...damnit, do you have any coffee that's black?

Janeway: Yeah! I have some...follow me...

Tom: Wow, coffee bonds them together...I wonder what relation she has to Janeway...

Chakotay: My spirit guide says that I should seek out a relationship with a close friend...*follows Janeway*

Harry: Hey, Seven! Can I go out with you?

Seven: Humph. *slaps Harry*

Tom: Ooh, rejected!


	5. Little q or Pokemon Uproar

Star Trek Voyager: Their Pokémon Adventure

Chapter Five

Little q or Pokémon Uproar

Janeway: What the hell?

Crowd: I want your autograph!

Lorelei *grabbing Janeway's hand*: Come on!

Janeway: Where are we going? *starts running*

Lorelei: The radio tower!

Q: Hurry! *closes door to the tower*

DJ Mary: Quinn! What the hell?

Q: No time, put yourself on the air. I've got a guest.

*Meanwhile...*

Picard: I feel funny...

q: Oh dear...*snaps sending the men to sickbay*

Troi: Finally...*eats sundae*

Beverly: Computer, activate the EMH.

Seven: Good idea.

B'Elanna: A toast to q for finally getting rid of the menace that is men!

q: I'm male!

B'Elanna: But you can't get drunk. *laughs* Where's the captain, though?

*In the Radio Tower...*

DJ Mary: I'm here today with the famous Captain Kathryn Janeway!

Janeway: Thank you.

DJ Mary: So, what's your opinion of the future of the Pokémon world? Is it going to be like Star Trek Voyager?

Janeway: Eventually, yes. Pokémon will still exist, but we will finally treat them like humans, understanding their power and their true feelings. And finally we'll find out if Pokémon are really aliens! *laughs*

DJ Mary *laughing*: They do seem like the Vulcans and the Betazoids of the future.

Janeway: Maybe.

DJ Mary: So do you have Pokémon of your own?

Janeway: Well, yes, but I left them at home.

DJ Mary: What kinds?

Janeway *smiling*: Some Nidorans, a Pikachu...a Dragonair...and a Chikorita.

DJ Mary: Do you breed?

Janeway: Yes, I do. They're in my ranch. I like seeing them in their natural environment.

DJ Mary: On Voyager, do you understand what they're saying and what you act out?

*explosion blows out the door*

Jesse: Prepare for trouble, Janeway!

James: And make it double!

DJ Mary: Team Rocket? Security!

Quinn: Team Rocket!

Ash: What the hell are you doing here?

Jesse: It's the twerp and his friends! Go, Arbok!

James: Go Wheezing! Smokescreen!

Quinn: Go, Charizard! Flamethrower!

Janeway: No, Quinn! We're-

*explosion blows out the tower*

Quinn: Kathryn, grab my hand!

Janeway *grabbing hand*:You do look like someone I know.

Quinn: No, it must be a coincidence. Everybody says I look like Q, but I'm not Q. I'm just a Pokémon trainer. *pulls Janeway close onto Charizard*

Janeway: Thanks...

Q: Of course, Kathryn. I wonder what Ash and the other guys ended up...

*On Voyager*

Troi: Hey, don't worry about Janeway...it's not like the ship's going to self-destruct...

Computer: Warning, this ship is going to self destruct in ten minutes.

Troi: On second thought...abandon ship!

*Meanwhile...*

Ash: Go, Snorlax!

Misty: Good idea! Hey, there's Quinn and Janeway!

DJ Mary: The radio tower...

Brock: Ohhh...*gets close to DJ Mary* Can I hold you?

Misty: Brock...*pulls his ear*

DJ Mary: Hehe...

*********************************

What's going to happen to Janeway next? And what about the Voyager's fate?

And will Janeway find out who Quinn really is?

Creepy...


	6. Ice and Fire

Chapter Six

Ice and Fire

*On Enterprise*

Picard *sober*: Goddammit...Voyager's gone! Poor Captain Janeway...*chuckles*

Seven: She's missing, not dead, Baldy. *smirks*

Picard: Baldy? Hey...you're a Borg, wern't you bald?

Seven: F-ck you.

*Meanwhile...*

Janeway: So, Quinn...

Quinn: Yes?

Janeway: I feel funny when I'm next to you. *Moves closer*

Quinn: Funny? Maybe you're getting sick...

Janeway: I'm fine...*kisses Quinn*

Quinn: *thoughts* Finally, I've earned the trust of Kathy...*puts hands around her waist*

Janeway *letting go*: Well, I shouldn't be falling in love with someone from this world.

Quinn: I...

*In the Q continuum...*

q: Come on, you guys, Voyager's been blown up! The captain's gone, everything is in shambles! Stupid people...

Other Q: We don't care, it's not our fault!

Amanda: I believe you q. I'll help you.

q: Amanda?

Amanda: Yeah, it's me.

q: Well, then come on, I gotta save my aunt!

*Somewhere out there in a parallel universe...*

Fairy Queen *who coincidentally looks like Captain Janeway*: Who did it? I want an answer now!

Someone in the crowd: Tom and Harry did it!

Fairy Queen *mad*: Tom, Harry, up here now!

Tom: I was just having a bit of fun...

Harry: Yeah!

Fairy Queen: Well, you've messed up the space-time continuum! *stands up* And you're going to come with me so we can fix the damage...*raises scepter*

*On the Enterprise...*

Picard: Amanda Rogers? And you must be Q...

q: Where's Voyager?

Seven: It blew up.

Chakotay: q! Where's Kathryn?

q: I have no f-cking idea, Commander, stay put!

Commander: I want to know! *grabs q's collar*

q: Put me down! Dammit!

*Chakotay puts him down.*

Amanda: How did Captain Janeway end up missing?

Seven: A flash of light brought her to another location.

Amanda: What color?

Seven: Blue.

Amanda: Oh dear...q, we better go..."

q: Why, I want to make the Enterprise come in tye-

*Flash of light*

*In the Pokémon world...*

Janeway: Quinn...if I asked you to come to my world...would you do that?

Quinn: *uneasily*: Maybe...

*flash of light*

q: Dad!

Quinn: q?!

Janeway: q?!

q: That's my dad, Captain Janeway.

Janeway: WHAT? Q!

Quinn/Q: Well, I...

Janeway: Get off! *pushes Q off*

*blue flash of light*

Fairy Queen: Oh, there you are! I've been looking for you in millions of worlds, Captain Janeway.

Janeway: Wait, you look like me...except for that dress. And they look like Tom and Harry, except for those wands...Okay, what are you here for?

Fairy Queen: You can call me Kate. I'm here to bring you back home to Voyager.

*green flash of light*

Ice Queen *who looks like Janeway, of course*: Well, I'm not going to let you, Kate. I'll turn this world to ice-Ouch, what the hell?

Fairy Queen: Hah, you're sitting on fire, stupid! Tom, Harry, take Janeway home! *turns* Tom, Harry? Goddammit!

Ice Queen: Goodbye, Fairy Queen! *pushes her off*

Fairy Queen *grabbing the hem of the dress*: I'm taking you down with me, Ice Queen!

Ice Queen *grabbing Janeway's hand*: I'm taking this clone with me too! *laughs*

Janeway: Damn!

*They fall*

*Enterprise-E...*

Picard: Something's wrong...The Voyager's back, hail it!

q: She's gone...we can't save her.

Amanda: She's probably dead from the fall from 2000 meters in the sky.

Picard:...

Seven: Then we'll go to Starfleet for debriefing.

Chakotay: Kathryn...she's dead...

Picard:...well, we'll give her a burial. *laughs*

*Meanwhile...*

Janeway: Thank god for you guys. So, are you going to come with me?

Fairy Queen: Shit, my scepter is broken!

Ice Queen: So is mine!

Both of them: It's your fault!

Janeway: Hey, shut up! I'm trying to get some Pokémon!

Both of them: Why don't you!

Janeway: For some Queens, you're both bitches. *turns back to the tree*

Fairy Queen: Well, your head is full of hot air, Captain!

Ice Queen: We could turn you into a grasshopper if our scepters aren't broken!

Janeway: Well, they are, so I can bitch about you guys.

*At the other side of the forest...*

Ash: Oh shit, we're lost!

DJ Mary: And I don't have any Pokémon! *pouts*

Misty: Hey, there's a fork in the road!

Brock: Yeay!

****************************************

How will the Queens and Janeway survive? How will they get back? And what about Ashy Boy and his friends? Will they survive?

@.@

*Meanwhile...*

Ice Queen: I got it! We'll combine scepters so we get back!

Fairy Queen: Yeah, right. I'm not trusting you with my scepter!

Janeway: Use magic or something!

Q: Ow...Kathy, why the hell did you push me?

Janeway: Q!

Fairy Queen&Ice Queen: Q? Who's he?

Q: Three Kathys? Wow, I've hit the jackpot-ow!

*The two queens smack Q, the poor thing...*

Janeway: Hey, hey, get off him! Q, are you okay?

*disappears then reappears*

Q: Yeah, yeah, I'm quite all right...

Fairy Queen: How the hell did you do that?

Q: I'm the omnipotent Q, now, will you please tell me why you're here, Fairy Queen and Ice Queen? You're supposed to be in your universes, not here in the meadow.

*a group of Cleffairy come by*

Fairy Queen: Oh how cute! *picks one up*

Cleffairy: Cleff Cleffairy!

Ice Queen: How vulgar!

Q: Now, now, Miss Ice Queen, they're animals. Don't-

Ice Queen: *Grabs Q* I'll stuff them in your mouth if you don't shut up!

Janeway: *gets Q out* He's my man, missy.

Ice Queen: I wasn't trying to gain his f-cking heart, Captain Bitchy.

Janeway: I dare you to say that again.

Ice Queen: Captain Bitchy.

*Janeway punches Ice Queen*

Ice Queen *sliding backwards*: Why you- *throws Fairy Queen's scepter*

Fairy Queen *from doing the metronome with the Cleffairy*: Hey, that's mine!

Janeway: Oh god...

*scepter stops an centimeter from her nose*

Janeway: Thank god. *sighs*


	7. Queen of Hearts

Chapter Seven:

Queen of Hearts

*On the Enterprise...*

Picard: I can't open the gateways again, that's a violation of the treaty! *muttering* And I don't want the slut home...

Chakotay: That's probably the only way to get the Captain and Lance back home...

Seven: They're gone, Commander. Maybe we could enlist the help of q and Amanda Rogers...

Picard: The Q continuum are restraining them pending the disappearance of Q...Q's missing too, you know.

*In the fairy world...*

Tom: Well, we could always have more fun, you know!

Harry: Yeah...how about taking that Q's powers away?

Tom: You got it...

*Meanwhile...*

Q: What the f-ck-my powers are gone! *snaps*

Janeway: You're kidding.

Fairy Queen: Wait till I get my hands on Tom and Harry...

Janeway: Hey, they're like that on Voyager too, the Tom and Harry there.

Fairy Queen: Really? Wow, you should tell me your secret...

Ice Queen: We should concentrate on getting home, not sharing beauty secrets.

Fairy Queen: Yeah...maybe we could open a wormhole into the future, and dump Captain Janeway there.

Ice Queen: Hello, our magic's gone...

Fairy Queen: Oh...

Janeway *picking up the scepter*: Hey, I can fix it! It's just a machine to focus energy in. *gets tools out from some unknown place*

Ice Queen: Wow...if she was a queen, she would be a great ruler.

Fairy Queen: Stupid, she is the queen of her own ship! And maybe the Delta Quadrant...

Janeway: All done!

Q: What about me, Kathy? Can you fix me??

Janeway *looking at Q*: Well, if I could I would, but you're Q, and I just don't know...

Q *with puppy eyes*: Please with coffee on top...

Janeway: Okay Q, so how do I fix you?

Q: Oh, I'll just show you...*grinning*

*Meanwhile on Enterprise...*

Picard: Now I'll be admiral...*laughs then farts* Shit.

*doors swish open*

Data: Captain, sir, there's a wormhole opening in front of us.

Picard: If Captain Janeway comes through it, shoot.

Data: But Captain-

Picard: She's just a dirty slut who's gotten her way up by having sex with the Admirals. Understood?

Data: Sir-

Picard: That's an order!

Data: Yes, sir! *leaves*

Picard: Now, now I'll have my revenge, Janeway! *laughs*

*Meanwhile...*

Fairy Queen: We're in space!

Q: Yeay! *snaps*

Janeway: Voyager, yeay! *sits in Captain's chair*

Fairy Queen: What a nice ship!

Ice Queen: Yeah...wow.

Janeway: So, ladies, what are you going to do?

Ice Queen: Go back! *raises scepter*

Fairy Queen: Yeah! *raises scepter*

*flash of light*

Ice Queen: Fin-HUH?

Fairy Queen: Get-WHAT?

*both tap the scepters*

Janeway: Oh dear, I think-Wait a minute, where's my coffee cup? *runs through the decks* AHHHH....shit, my coffee cup's gone!

*outside*

q: Goddammit, I forgot her cup, but I can't get it now...shit....

Amanda: Can't you just get it from another time period?

q: Life doesn't work that way.

*Ten Forward...*

Picard: Here's to *hic* the Federation victory over the Dominion...*hic*

Chakotay: Here's to unity! *hic*

Lance: Here's to love lost *hic hic hic*

Tom: Here's to anything we *hic hic* drunks forgot *hic*

Riker: Here's to Captain Janeway, my lost love...*hic*

Lance: Hey, she was *hic* my lost love!

Chakotay: *hic* I was her boyfriend!

*they start fighting*

Guinan *at the ladies table*: I don't think those drinks did them any good.

Seven: Affirmative.

Troi: I'm dragging Will to bed again, anybody want to join me?

Crusher: I'll get Picard.

B'Elanna: I'll get Tom

Seven: I'll get Harry.

*Enterprise rocks*

Seven: What the hell?

*On Voyager...*

Fairy Queen: I dare you to touch that button!

Ice Queen: Well, all right...*pushes button*

Janeway: Oh dear, oh dear, I'm late I'm-hey, don't push that button!

*Voyager fires phasers at DS9*

Janeway: AHHHH! You imbeciles, that's our outpost!

*Enterprise*

Picard *sober and on bridge*: Fire at Voyager!

Chakotay: That's stupid! My girlfriend's on there!

Picard: Well, too bad, Tattoo Boy.

Chakotay: Why you damn bastard! *Punches him in the stomach* All you want is harm to Kathryn, and I won't let you do anything for that!

Picard: Damn. *falls*

Chakotay: Beam them out!

*Meanwhile...*

Tom: Hey, why don't we send them all to the Pokémon world?

Harry: Cool...but won't-

Tom: Her magic's like ours, but the scepter just increases them. Anyway, we have the real one, right? Hehe....

*Flash of light...*

Janeway: Don't touch that-HELL, what is this place?

Ash: Damn, Janeway, what are you doing in that hole?

Janeway: Ash, Lorelei, DJ Mary? Oh no...

Chakotay: Hey, Diglett! *picks one up* Ow!

*gets hit by a mud slap*

Tom (real Tom): Wow...

Harry: Yeah, wow! It's better than the hologram!

Fairy Queen: Damn those bastards, this is a fake scepter! We'll never get home!

Picard *in a fake cheerful voice*: Hey, Kathryn, what's up? *muttering* that slut...

Janeway *ditto*: Oh, nothing, Jean-Luc...*muttering* that pimp...

Q: Hello, Captains, what's up?

Janeway: Hello, Q...

Picard: Mon Dieu, it's Q! Hey, that rhymes...*giggles*

Janeway: Picard, shut up with the French, okay? Some people here don't understand what the hell you're saying.

Picard: Hey, no one asked you to be the bitchy one today!

Janeway: Well, no one asked a French person with a British accent to be a f-cked up captain!

Picard: Yeah?

Janeway: Yeah! *slaps him*

Picard: Ow! *punches her*

Janeway: Bastard! *kicks him*

Picard: Bitch!

*start fighting on the ground*

Ice Queen: Anybody have some popcorn around?

Fairy Queen: Hey, stop it, stop!

Chakotay: Give him what he deserves, Kathryn!

Crusher: Fight to the finish, Jean-Luc!

Chakotay: Hey, don't make him kill Kathryn! *grabs Crusher's collar*

Crusher: Well, you're making Kathryn kill Picard, Marquis!

*both fight*

Tom: Damn...It's so tight!

Lance *drooling*: So, Ice Queen, what's your real name?

Ice Queen: Kate.

Lance *drooling again*: So, want to go out with me?

Ice Queen: Sure... *takes Lance's hand*

Lorelei *seething* Oooh...Hey, he's my man, Kate!

Ice Queen: Really? Well, I'm a better mate for him than you-

*Lorelei tackles her and punches and kicks her*

Ice Queen: Ow, that's the hem of my dress, missy!

Lorelei: What is it to you? *laughs*

Ice Queen: Why you...

**************************

How will they ever get out of the hole that Team Rocket has abandoned? And how will they get home?

And what will Chakotay say when he finds out that Kathryn has been cheating on him?

*On Enterprise*

Admiral Paris: Computer, where are the senior crew members?

Computer: Off the ship.

Paris: Specify.

Computer: Off the ship!

Paris: Where off the ship, dammit!?

Computer: I don't know! Sheesh, you're deaf!

Paris: Why you-

Ensign Red Shirt: Sir, I found this in Ten Forward. 

Paris: Damn, that's Kathryn's coffee cup! Where is she, anyway?

*phaser fire shoots the Ensign dead*

Borg: We are the Borg. Resistance is futile.

Paris: Uh-oh...


	8. What are we doing here?

Chapter Eight

What are we doing here?

Janeway:

Chakotay:

Q:

Harry:

Tom:

*in the fairy world*

Harry:

Tom:

*static*

UPN: Due to some signal problems, we will not be showing Voyager: Their Pokémon Adventure, and therefore, we will show some other programming tonight...

J.T: Oh shit. *phones CaptainKJ which we will refer to as Kate* Kate, did you hear?

Kate: Yeah, yeah, they're doing it again! And I wrote the screenplays too! *pouts*

J.T: Hey, don't sweat it-UPN's trying to can it!

Kate: Well, Fox is good...but I'm still mad at them for putting Boston Public on Fridays, so I'm not going to put it on there...(I'm a Boston Public fan)

J.T: Crap, they're showing Star Trek TNG tonight...

Kate: Which episode?

J.T: The one where they're stuck in a time loop...*groans*

Kate: Oh man...*groans*

J.T: Hey, someone's on my line, hold on-

Kate: Yeah, me too...*pushes hold button* Shannon, hey.

Shannon: They're canning your show, right?

Kate: Basically.

Shannon: Yeah, I was wondering why they're showing Picard.

Kate: Yeah, yeah...

Shannon: Wanna make a petition?

Kate: You can do it, I'll just call UPN. I have J.T on the line...

J.T: Who's paying the charges?

Kate: Me, of course.

J.T: Hey, who's with you?

Kate: Shannon.

J.T: Hey, Shannon, how's it going over there?

Shannon: Boring, of course. Picard's boring.

J.T: Talk about it. So, Kate, let's say we protest.

Kate: I can't do that, it's in my contract.

Shannon: Hey, that rhymes!

J.T:....

Kate: Um...Shannon, this isn't the time for noticing things like that...

Shannon: But it's fun!

*Meanwhile....*

Janeway: Goddammit, this box doesn't work. *kicks it*

Tom: God, Captain, there's the button! *pushes it*

Janeway: Oh...

Lorelei: Who wants some coffee?

Janeway, Fairy Queen, and Ice Queen: Me, me!

Janeway: You?

Fairy Queen: It's currency in my world.

Ice Queen: It's a luxury that only I have in my world. *laughs*

*Stares from the Fairy Queen and Janeway*

Janeway: Right....

Fairy Queen: Well, if you didn't turn your world into ice, this wouldn't had happen!

Ice Queen: Well, I am the ice queen...

*aside...*

Chakotay: I think I see a connection...

Tom: What are you talking about?

Chakotay: Them, stupid. *points to the Queens and Janeway*

Harry: Commander, they all look like Janeway, stupid!

Chakotay: NO, not that, I meant the Queens are the good and evil side of Janeway.

Tom: The captain has an evil side? OH no!

Janeway *glaring*: Shut up, Tom Eugene Paris!

Tom: Aye, Captain!

Chakotay: Yeah, don't you see?

Tom: All I see is Captain Janeway, Arachnia, and Arachnia who's very pretty.

Lance: Hey, that's my girl!

Tom: I was talking about the Fairy Queen, Lance!

Lance: Oh.

Lorelei: Hey, I have beer...who put it there?

Lance *hiding a smirk*: That was my beer.

Lorelei: LANCE! 

Lance: Oops. 

*Meanwhile...* 

Kate: F-ck you. *slams phone down* 

Kate's Mom: Kate, don't do that! 

Kate: Sorry, mom! 

*phone rings* 

Kate: Hello... 

*************************************** 

Who's called Kate? And whats going to happen to her show? What about the Voyager Crew? 

Find out next time... 


	9. I forgot the title

Voyager: Their Pokémon Adventure

Chapter Nine:

Home-Or is it?

*In Kate's world*

Kate: Hello...

*static*

Kate: ....*puts phone down*

*Meanwhile*

Chakotay *approaching the group*: Hi.

Janeway: Hi, Chakotay.

Fairy Queen: Hey, he looks like my husband.

Ice Queen: Yeah, you're right.

Janeway: But he's my husband!

Chakotay:....^^;

Janeway: Sorry, Chuckles, what were you saying?

Chakotay: I need to speak with you for a moment.

*Fairy World*

Tom: Hey, maybe we should have some more fun!

Harry: Yeah...how about this...wait I hear someone...

*flash of light*

Kate: J.T, we're not going through this again...

J.T: Okay Kate...what the f-ck?

Kate: What?!

J.T: There are Pokémon popping up everywhere!

Kate: J.T, what did you have today?

J.T: Look outside!

Kate *opening curtains*: Damn!

*knock*

Kate: Someone's knocking at the door...*goes downstairs and opens it*

Janeway: Um...how do I say this? I'm Captain Janeway of the Starship Voyager and we're stuck here. With Pokémon.

Kate *still holding the phone*: If it wasn't raining Pokémon, I would've...well, come in, and bring the Pokémon with you, Lorelei.

Lorelei: How-how-

Kate: Never mind, just come in...J.T, you should come over.

J.T: You're joking, right? Janeway's there?

Kate *looking over her shoulder*: Yeah. Not Kate Mulgrew, Kathryn Janeway.

J.T: Well, I'll be there in five minutes.

Kate: Sure...*hangs up* Okay, did Q do this?

Q: No, my powers are gone, so I didn't do this. Anyway, I wouldn't do this anyway.

Kate: And why are there three Janeways?

Chakotay: They're Janeway's good and evil sides!

Janeway: Chuckles, they are not my good and evil sides...

*Back to Tom and Harry...*

Tom: Hello, your Highness...

Harry: Your Highness....

Fairy King: And what are you doing here, Tom and Harry?

Tom: Watching over the Queen's stuff.

Harry: Yeah...what he said.

Fairy King *raising an eyebrow*: Hmmm...well, I'll take over. Be off with you.

*Tom and Harry back up, then turn around, taking the scepter*

Fairy King: Shit-Hey, come back!

*Meanwhile...*

Kate: Oh, this is cute. *picks up Pikachu* Pikachu...*pats him*

Pikachu: pika pi...

J.T: Man, this is good stuff for the Star Trek newsletter...So, Captain, what is your insight on the pre-warp earth?

Janeway: Well...

Tom: It's cool!

Kate: Try being in my shoes, Tom Paris.

Tom: What do you do?

Kate: Write screenplays.

Seven: That is an inefficient job to do.

Kate: It pays millions, Seven.

Tom: Cool! What do you write?

Kate: Star Trek Voyager parodies.

*Silence*

Janeway: So you know all about this?

Kate: Well, not this...

*phone rings*

Kate: Kate here.

UPN Executive: Kate, did you see what happened tonight?

Kate: Duh...

UPN Executive: Well, we're not going to cancel your show. Your writings are true!

Kate:....^^; Yeah...

Tom: Hey, let me use the phone! *grabs it* Hi, I'm Tom Eugene Paris!

Kate: Hey, that's a high paying executive there...

Tom: No, really-

Kate *grabbing the phone*: He's one of my friends...crazy guy, really...

Executive: Well, we'll be seeing the screenplay by tomorrow...

Kate: Good, because I already wrote one...*hangs up* Tom, you ass!

Tom: Can I call someone?

Kate&J.T: No!

Tom: Oh man...can I have the phone then?

Kate: Hey, this is a 400 dollar phone, you dumb pilot.

B'Elanna: That's what I've been telling him!

Tom: Oh man...

Janeway: How do we get back...

Seven: If we can build a ship...

Kate: You're forgetting that we have no dilithium here...well, if you don't have tricorders, you can't get to it...

Harry: Hey, there's dilithium here!

Kate: You are not going to mine here, this is private property!

Janeway: She's right, Harry. And we can't build a warp core here, there're no space.

Kate: Yeah...Harry...

****************************************************

Well, I so don't know what's going to happen next...


	10. I forgot this one too, sorry

Chapter Ten:

Okay....

*The Next Day at School-Geometry class*

Kate *sitting down at desk*: Sorry, I'm late. Ms. Smith, but I had some...

Ms. Smith: Yes, I know. Today, class, we have some a new student...

Janeway: Hi, I'm Kathryn...um...

J.T *to Kate*: Oh my god, what is she wearing?

Kate: Looks like my Tommy shirt, my Levi shorts, and my...*covers mouth* My army boots!

Janeway: ..and so, I would like to meet all of you guys and have some fun here...*smiles and winks*

Ms. Smith: Kathryn, you are going to sit next to...Kate. Kate raise your hand.

Janeway *sitting down*: Hey, Kate!

Kate: Kathryn, what the hell did you do to yourself...damn, you guys have no fashion sense. And is that my purple lipstick?

Kathryn: Well, I like the color...

Kate: When this is over, you and I are going to the restroom.

*After class*

Kate: Sit still, Kathryn...*fiddles with hair*

Kathryn: But this is annoying! Ow!

Kate: Your hair is out of style here, Kathryn...

*a group of Pikachu come in*

Pikachus: Pi pi ka chu, pi pi pi pikachu, cha...

Kate: Who let the Pikachu in?

Kathryn: They're cute! *picks one up* How cute!

*Meanwhile, in Kate's house*

Chakotay *standing on table*: Party at Kate's expense!

Lance: I found her money!

Harry: I found expensive equipment!

Tom: I found her credit card-lets go!

Fairy Queen: Oh that isn't nice...

Ice Queen: Hey, it's at someone's expense! *gets beer*

Lorelei: Lance, come here...

Lance *dancing with Ice Queen*: Yeah baby yeah!

Lorelei: Hmph.

Harry: Hey, Lorelei, come here and give me a kiss...

Lorelei: Okay...

*School*

J.T: Skipping class already? 

Kate: Well, Janeway's gone overboard with the Pikachu...

J.T: We really need to get them back...she's surpassed me as the most popular...*frowns*

Kate: And the Pokémon, Mr. Harper fell asleep by a Jigglypuff with a marker!

J.T: Freaky. *sticks Pocky [1] in mouth* So, how are we supposed to get them back? 

Kate: You know, I haven't thought about that. *sighs* 

J.T: Yeah, Miss Voyager Freak. 

Kate: You're the Voyager Freak around here. 

*In the Fairy world...* 

Fairy King: Guards, seize the miscreants! 

Tom: Here goes nothing- *points scepter at guards* 

Fairy King: What the f-ck? 

*guards are flowers* 

Harry: Good one! 

Fairy King: Damn, Damn, damn! 

*Meanwhile at school* 

Kathryn: These braids hurt! 

Kate: You'll get used to it. 

J.T: Yeah, they're in style now. 

Kathryn: No kidding. *picks up books and Pikachu* 

Pikachu: Pika piiii! 

Kate: Oh shit, shit. 

J.T *putting another Pocky in mouth and looking at Pokédex*: Diglett and Dugtrio. They ruined the halls. 

Kate *snatching Pocky*: J.T, it's not time for cookies and chocolate! We really need to find out who is responsible for this... 

Kathryn: Hello, Diglett. Hello, Onix. Hello... 

Kate: ...*throbbing vein* Captain Janeway! 

Kathryn: What? 

J.T: We should go home... 

*Meanwhile, drunks in the house...* 

Chakotay: Who has the whisky? 

Lance: Who has the sake? 

Harry: Lorelei, one more? 

Lorelei: Sure! *giggles* 

Fairy Queen *giggling*: Harder, Tom, harder! 

Q: Someone throw the hard lemonade here! 

*sound of broken glass* 

Q: You missed, you idiot. 

Seven: Sorry, Q.

B'Elanna: We ran out of liquor!

Tuvok: Then get some! *hics*

*groans*

Tom: Ooh, lets pawn more stuff!

Lorelei: Harder, harry!

Harry: Of course...

*Outside*

Kate: Something's wrong...

J.T: Yeah, it's too quiet.

*Kate opens the door*

Kate: What the hell is going on?! Where is my beanie babies collection?!

J.T: They pawned it. They pawned my priceless gift for money!

*phone rings*

Kate: Yes?

Credit Card company: You've went over the limit by...10 thousand dollars!

Kate: Damn! *turns slowly to the crew* You're going to pay for anything you've taken from me, right now! *hangs up*

J.T: Hey, they're-

Kate: Shut up, J.T. Now clean up this mess!

*Meanwhile*

Ice King: Hmm...Kate? *Turns* Hmmm...she's left her coffee cup here...*claps*

Red shirt Servant: Yes, your highness?

Ice King: Do you know where the Queen is?

Servant: No, highness.

Ice King: Very well, get my scepter for me.

Servant: Yes, highness.

*At Kate's house*

Ice Queen: This is stupid...

Fairy Queen: Nothing is free in life.

Ice Queen: Everything was free for me! Now this!

Fairy Queen: Well, it is her house.

Ice Queen: Oh shut up...

Kathryn: You know, they really act like me...

Kate: You know about the good and evil in you?

Kathryn: Yeah.

Kate: Well they're the good and evil sides of you.

Kathryn: How-

Kate: Well, if everything is going like in my script, you'll be-oh, temporal prime directive, Kathryn. I can't tell you. *grins*

Kathryn: So if they're my good and evil sides, then what's the mirror universe?

*Meanwhile*

Tom: Well, it's kinda boring here...

Harry: Then let's spruce it up! 

*flash of light*

Kate: Where am I?

Lorelei: It looks like a fairy world here...

Lance: Oh man, I wanted to stay with Kate here! *grabs Kate's arm*

Fairy Queen: Well, this is unexpected...hey there's the palace!

J.T *to Kate*: Isn't there something about eating fairy food?

Kate: Yeah...

Fairy Queen: Come on...

Kate *to J.T*: Don't eat any of the food, okay?

J.T: Well, it's not going to last. *holds up bag of Pocky*

Kate: Well, I had lunch, so it's okay.

*An hour later*

Kate: Sheesh, there's good food here!

Fairy Queen: I wonder where my husband is...

*In the moat*

Fairy King: Where are you, Tom, Harry...

Tom: Here! *points scepter at him*

*dragon comes out*

Fairy King: Shit! *swims*

Tom: Haha!

Harry: Give me the scepter! *points at the King*

*dragon becomes smaller*

Tom: Wrong spell, dumbass.

Harry: Hey, I wasn't the best magic user!

*the King hauls himself up the bridge*

King: Haha! I'll be seeing you in the dunegons! *Runs inside*

*In the dining hall*

Ice Queen: Wow, this is better than the stuff I get!

Fairy Queen: I'll give you the recipe. Now, where is Tom and Harry?

Kate: Well, in my script it says the King comes in and tells us-

Fairy King: Tom and Harry are at the moat with the scepter-okay, who did you drag in today?

Fairy Queen *grinning* Well, I had this adventure...and I..well...

Fairy King *sitting down across Kate*: Hello. *holds out hand*

Kate: Hi, I'm Kate. *shakes hand*

Fairy King: Really? Well, here you can't name yourself with the Queen's name, but anyway, I'm-

Kate *looking at script, bewildering the King*: Chakotay. Right?

Fairy King: Are you-

Kate *looking up*: Uh, no, but I write screenplays.

Fairy King: Really? We need good programming here-

Fairy Queen: Honey, maybe you should eat. Pie, anyone?

Kate: Excuse me. *stands up, drags J.T with her*

J.T: Wait, I want the pie!

Kate: Idiot, we ate the food, we're stuck here!

J.T: Maybe it doesn't apply here!

Kate: No, stupid, we're fairies! I didn't want to be a fairy, I wanted to be a f-cking vampire!

J.T: If we're fairies, can't we wish ourselves that?

*Meanwhile*

Lorelei: Someone give me another plate, I'm going to spin it on a stick!

Lance: Here!

Janeway: Go, go!

Chakotay: It's weird talking to myself.

Fairy King: Same here. So, what do you do?

Chakotay: I'm a commander on a spaceship.

Fairy King: Cool!

Harry: Hey, Tom, look at this! *throws a match in the wine bottle*

Tom: Damn!

Lance: Cool, look at this! *blows at match*

Tom: Hey, Captain, look at this!

Janeway: Later.

Tuvok: No, no, look at this! *dumps match on cloth and drenches it with wine*

Fairy Queen: Fire, fire!

*panic ensues*

Tuvok: Oops.

Janeway: Oops is right!

********************************************

What's going to happen to the gang with the fairy food? Will Kate get her wish?

*Meanwhile, with Picard and the Enterprise...*

Picard: Hurry! *activates self destruct*

Riker: I'm staying captain.

Troi: Will, if you're staying, I am too.

Crusher: Me too.

Kate *directing*: Cut, cut! More feeling, please! Hey, wait, wasn't I supposed to be in the Fairy Realm?

*scene change*

Kate: Lets see...I was supposed to be here...

Kathryn: J.T, does she have any magical powers?

J.T: No, not any that I know of.

*sighs*


	11. The End or is it?

A/N: Well, this is part of the shore leave that the Voyager-E has...month eight of Kate's pregnancy.

Chapter Eleven:

Shore Leave

Month Six

Shifting Times

*On the Voyager-E*

Kate Janeway: Hey! *gets paint over her hair*

Jolie: Sorry! *paints banner*

Kate: It's all right.

Robert: Honeybunny...

Kate: Not in public!

Robert: Sorry, Captain. How do you like it?

Kate: What?

Robert: This.

*meanwhile*

Kate: Oh great...

J.T: Yeah.

*stares at singed table*

Kathryn: Hey, it could've been worse-*sniffs* Who's hair is burning?

*muffled giggles*

Kate: It's you.

Kathryn: Shit, get it off! *runs in circles*

Kate: Lets see, it says that someone will...

Tom: Here! *pours wine over her head*

Kathryn: TOM PARIS!

Harry: Hey, bonfire!

Tom: Sorry, Captain...

J.T: Here. *pours water*

Kathryn: Thank god...

*muffled laughter*

Kathryn: What?

Kate: Here. *Throws mirror*

Kathryn: Oh my god! *screams*

Kate: Um...

*everybody steps backward*

Kathryn: My hair, my hair! *cries*

*Voyager-E*

Kate: Here, you missed a spot. *takes cream and throws it at Robert's face*

Robert: Kate, honey! *throws some more*

Miral: Food fight!

*food is thrown at Kate and Robert*

Robert: Is that flan?

Kate: Coffee!

*Meanwhile*

Tom: Hey...

Harry: More?

Tom: Yeah...

*Flash of light*

Kathryn: What the hell is going on here? 

*stares at the food fight*

Kate Janeway: Mother?

Kathryn: Mother? What do you mean, I have no children!

*fight stops*

Jolie: Hey, it's Admiral Janeway!

Colin: No, Jolie, that's Captain Janeway...

*hushed silence*

Kate Janeway: Okay, who is meddling in this time? Q?

Q: No, I'm here. With out my powers.

Kate Janeway: Oh. Well, everybody in my ready room. And stop staring at me like I'm some kind of Borg hybrid!

Robert *bending down and whispering*: Um, technically you are.

Kate Janeway: Oh, shut up,_ dear._

Robert: Yes, Captain.

*Meanwhile*

Tom: Yeah, we rule!

Harry: No, I'm the King!

Tom: But I have the scepter!

Harry: Now you don't. *tackles Tom*

Tom: Now look at what you've done, you broke the damn thing!

Harry: Uh-Oh.

*Briefing Room*

Kate Janeway: Hey, Kath.

Kate: How's it going?

J.T: Okay, okay, who's who? I'm confused badly. *puts Pocky in mouth*

Kate: That's Kate Janeway, that's Captain Janeway, and I'm Kate. You're J.T, and this is the Voyager-E crew...

J.T: Okay okay, Kate, I get it now!

Kate: Oh, okay.

Kate Janeway: Everybody sit down, sit...

Janeway: Wow, these are better than the Voyager's!

Chakotay: That's my seat.

Robert: No, mine!

*fights break out*

Kate Janeway: Stop!

*slience*

Kate Janeway: Holodeck One, now!

*In the Fairy world*

Tom: No, no...

Harry: That goes there, dimwit.

Prime Minister *who looks like the Doctor*: Ahem. What are you doing?

Tom: Nothing, sir, nothing!

Harry: Yeah!

Prime Minister: Oh, okay...

*Holodeck One*

Kate Janeway: Okay, who messed up my program? Why is everything monochrome?

Tom: Captain Proton!

Janeway: Oh no...

Colin: Oh shit...

Chakotay: Nice...

T'Vela: Illogical.

Miral: Colin, you idiot...

Robert: Hey, Kate, did you throw the catsuit here?

Harry: Where's Dr. Chaotica?

B'Elanna: Great...

Seven: Inefficient. 

Ice Queen: I know...

Doctor: Please state the nature of the emergency.

Jolie: Colin, nice program.

Fairy King: Hmmm.

Fairy Queen: Yeay!

Lorelei: Ooh, Buck Rogers in the 25th century!

Lance: Typical Star Trek.

*A day later*

Kate: God god god...this sucks.

Robert: It sure does.

Kate: No, I meant these reports, they suck ass.

Robert: Really? Good, I have time to revise mine...

Kate: No you don't...

*Flash of light*

Kate: What...what am I doing here...

*Meanwhile*

Janeway: All stop...wait, I feel like I traveled through time.

Chakotay: I know how you feel.

*In the Pokémon world*

Lorelei: Okay...

Lance: Ooh, there goes Captain Janeway!

*In the Fairy World*

Fairy Queen: Chakotay?

Fairy King: I'm an idiot, my scepter was working, and I didn't use it...*laughs*

*He gets slapped by the Queen*

Fairy Queen: Stupid!

*In the woods*

Tom: Why am I in chains?

Harry: Yeah...hey, who's dragging us?

Prime Minister: Hahah...

*Ice World*

Ice King: These miscreants tried to take over the ice world...

Ice Queen: Go away...*broods in throne*

*The Q Continuum*

Q: My head hurts...Kathy...

q: She's not here, take a message.

Q: Oh shut up...

*************************************************************

The End...or is it?

*Meanwhile*

Picard: What the hell?

Crusher: It's been Borgified...

Troi: Not again.

Riker: I'm scared...

Admiral Paris: We are the Borg. Resistance is futile.

*screams are heard*

*In the world where Kate and J.T live...*

Kate: I feel funny.

J.T: Yeah, so do I.

Kate *looking in mirror*: I'm a vampire!

J.T: Really...*screams*

Kate: What, J.T?

J.T: I never wanted to become a vampire! I can't comb my hair, I can't see a mirror anymore, I can't do this, I can't do that...

Kate: Go ahead, burn in the sun. *goes upstairs* Gotta make a few calls...*Laughs*

*In a world that no one has gone to...*

Prince Diamond *looking in crystal ball*: Hahaha....and Tom and Harry thought they were controlling time and space...*laughs*

Sailor Moon: What the hell are you talking about...and why aren't you destroying us?

Sailor Jupiter: Yeah, why aren't you?

Prince Diamond: Go away...

Sailor Mercury: I think we should go...

Sailor Venus: Yeah, I don't want to miss my appointment at the mall...

Sailor Chibi Moon: Wait for me...

Tuxedo Mask: Yeah, Sailor Moon, we should go...

Sailor Moon: Okay...*pouts*


	12. And the crew returns to Risa

Chapter 12

Back with a Vengeance

*Two Years Later…*

Janeway: Risa at last, Chakotay.

Chakotay: Yeah, I know…with no…

*At the resort*

Kate: Stupid replicator!

J.T: Relax, Kate, it's okay…

Shannon: Vampires…*sighs*

*Meanwhile…*

Fairy Queen: The Federation is a nice place.

Fairy King: I don't like it.

Queen: Oh, come on, Chakotay…

King: Kathryn…*sighs*

*Meanwhile…again…*

Kathryn: Oh, god, don't tell me that's Kate.

*In another place*

Kate: Oh god, don't tell me that's the fairy queen!

*In the pool*

Queen: Don't tell me that's Kathryn Janeway…

*In another world*

Mulgrew: Damn, Robert, get it right without laughing!

Robert: But Kate, that's really funny!

Robert: Kate, shoot's up!

Roxanne: Come on…

Mulgrew: It's the directors fault! Makeup!

*Flash of light…*

Kate: Goddamn!

Janeway: Shit!

Queen: What?

Mulgrew: What the hell happened here?

Kate: Very amusing.

Janeway: Kate, shut up, I was having fun with Chakotay.

Queen: SO was I!

Mulgrew: I don't get it.

Q: Oh, girls! *snap*

*classroom*

Q: Today, we're going to learn-

*bolt of energy hits the stick*

Kate: Shut up, Q! *stands* I'm ditching this stand!

*Hits wall, drops*

Queen: My, that was weird.

Janeway: Q, we were having fun!

Mulgrew: Today's my photo shoot!

Janeway: Goody for you.

Mulgrew: Take that back!

Janeway: Sticks and stones-

*Mulgrew punches Janeway*

Janeway: Damn you bitch! You messed up my make up!

Mulgrew: So? Who cares?

Janeway: I do! *punches Mulgrew*

Mulgrew: Bitch!

Queen: Stop, everybody!

*All halt*

Kate *woozy*: Hi…ow…stupid vampire redundancy…

Everybody: Vampire?

Kate: Damn.

*Meanwhile*

Chakotay: I win! Another shot, you!

King: Not again *hic* you bastard! *hic*

J.T: Where's Kate?

Shannon: Don't worry, J.T. She's going to come back. *sips martini*

J.T: I know her. She's a bitch when it comes to making appointments.

Shannon: She was always one.

J.T: Yeah…you're right.

Shannon: I'm always right, J.T.

*At…the classroom?*

Q: What a surprise. *sighs*

Janeway: How did that happen?

Queen: Fairy food. *sighs*

Mulgrew: What's happening here? Do you guys have makeup?

Kate Janeway: Mulgrew, shut up. I shouldn't have saved you. You're getting bitchier than ever.

Mulgrew: Say what?!

Kate: She's right.

Mulgrew: You're the vampire!

Kate: So? It's not like I kill for anything.

Q: Ladies, ladies, stop bitching and get something up.

Kate: Get us out of here.

Q: No can do!

Kate: *slamming him to the wall*: You better or I'll kill you.

Q: Like you can-

*Kate wrings his neck*

Q: Stop that….

*flash*

King: Huh? Kathryn?

Evreybody: Yes?

King: I meant the queen.

Kate: Like you meant her.

*King blushes*

Queen: Kate, shut up!

Kate: Why don't you. I'm leaving. *disappears*

Kate Janeway: Why didn't she use that before?

Janeway: I have no idea.

Mulgrew: I want to be back on the set!

Queen: Why don't we all leave...

*flash*

*******************************

What's happening now, that I've started it up again?

Why is Mulgrew there?

What's happened to Picard and Co?

Picard *huffing*: Where are we?

Crusher *huffing* I can't take it anymore!

Archer: Hi, who are you?

Picard: I am Captain Picard of the Starship Enterprise.

Archer: …

T'Pol: Sir, we should detain them.

Archer: Yes, great idea. Malcolm, Tucker.

Comm. Tucker: Sir, I'm the engineer.

Archer: So?

Malcolm: Shut up, and do this.

Tucker: You shut up! You're the one wearing lipstick!

Archer: Break it up and go!

Picard *yelling*: I SAVED THE EARTH! I SAVED THE EARTH!

Archer: What is he talking about?


End file.
